Clumsy
by No Sweeter Song
Summary: A group of Remus' run ins with young Tonks, right up until their run in after the Hospital Wing scene, where Remus is forced to face the truth...he's gone and fallen for the girl with the knobby knees and obnoxious hair.  A MUCH different Remus for me.


More a bit of a reflection piece than anything. I wrote it for RT Challenge at LJ, but I don't even remember my prompt now. Anyway, it's mostly just Remus' view point of several encounters with Tonks before she becomes HIS Tonks.

And, as always, NOT MINE!!

* * *

It was never that Remus _didn't_ want to fall in love.

Those who were against half-breeds and werewolves had made their point. He didn't deserve to fall in love. There should've been no woman who would take him, and he certainly didn't need to be breeding. The exact term they'd used. Breeding. As if he were some woodland animal creating a litter. As if it weren't an actual woman he'd be falling in love with, but some creature.

There was also the small matter of his finances. Or lack thereof, really. The Lupins had never been particularly wealthy, and going through the money his parents had left him at their passing was easy to do when unemployed. He had nothing to offer a wife. There were no means to support a family, and most women did want a family. For that matter, so did he.

Of course he wanted to fall in love. Like any normal man, Remus wanted to love and to be loved. He'd just always figured it was impossible. Who would love a man like him? Short-lived flings and one night stands were easier. Always easier to not get too involved. To be able to walk away, to not feel any more than usual rejection when they found out what he was.

The first time he'd seen her, she was a measly four year-old with too long legs, knobby knees, and a pig's nose. She'd sneezed on him, her hair turning a vibrant shade of green in the process. Half the people in the room had found it incredibly adorable, earning her the nickname Dora-the ending of Nymphadora, of course. He, however, had been grossed out, not even feeling badly when she had tripped, skinning one of those knobby knees.

Their meetings had been scarce after that. He barely kept in touch with Andromeda or Ted after Sirius' incarceration. He ran into them once in Diagon Alley, when he'd had to cave in and purchase new robes. She'd been thirteen at the time, and still hadn't grown into herself. The added length of her arms and legs gave her a gangly appearance, like a baby horse, and she was just as clumsy as one, too. She tripped over a bump in the cobblestone-or so she said, Remus went back later and didn't think there was any such bump-and ran headfirst into him, sending them both to the ground.

She didn't speak to him, but he remembered her. For one, her hair was a somewhat nauseating shade of bubblegum pink. Her most identifying feature, though, was the mother who ran up to assist the both of them. She smiled warmly as soon as she recognised Remus and helped them both to their feet. Remus tried not to look at the awkward teen with distaste, but he knew his expression had to be something less than warm. The entire time he was speaking to Andromeda, the teenager shifted uncomfortably, rolling her eyes and not apologising for the incident she'd caused.

He didn't see her again until she was in her early twenties. It was then that he didn't recognise her. She was on her own, her hair a deep red, and her eyes a caramel brown. Remus would've kept walking and not noticed her at all-except she went crashing right into him. For a moment, he was bitter. After all, a man could only be run into so many times before he began to have an issue with it. But that's when he realised who she was, and he began to laugh. He'd called her Nymphadora, and been corrected quickly. Just Tonks. Odd choice for a nickname, and he only nodded a bit as he turned to walk away.

She hadn't left his mind, and when she walked into her first Order meeting, Remus' jaw dropped. He stood to greet her and, in her surprise at seeing him, she tripped into him. Instead of falling, though, this time he grabbed her, holding her upright and catching the shy smile that sparkled in her eyes. Sirius only grinned at him from across the table, and Remus shot him a glare. It was later that he found out why Sirius was grinning. Young Nymphadora hadn't forgotten that encounter when she was only four. In fact, Sirius had told him, she had declared that day that he was 'very dishy' and Sirius was determined she'd harbored a crush ever since.

Remus didn't have the ability to confront her about that for almost two years. They stood, arms circling each other, outside of Hogwarts. She clung to him desperately, he smoothed her mousy brown hair gently. For what felt like the thousandth time, he reminded her why she deserved more than him. And for the thousandth time, she told him she didn't care, that none of that mattered to her. He released her, shaking his head slowly and preparing to walk through the castle's gates. He'd barely gotten halfway there when he felt a hand on his arm. Instinct told him to turn around and catch her, as surely she was falling.

But for once, Tonks remained steady on her feet, staring into his eyes. She told him, her eyes shining with unshed tears, that she loved him. That she didn't want to go through the rest of the war without him. That they'd faced enough tragedy and enough loss. She wanted him, and damn him for thinking otherwise. Remus' breath caught. He'd fallen in love. Despite all the walls he'd built around himself, he was madly in love with the girl looking back at him with wide, trusting eyes. He wanted her, for better or for worse. And for whatever it was worth, she wanted him, too. He gave in and kissed her. It was then that he asked her. And she'd admitted it. Her feelings for him were twenty years in the making.

She wasn't going to walk away. And it made him love her all the more.


End file.
